Juju
A year ago today my amazing Aunt Julie died. I stayed with her for a nearly a week during the last November and helped her out around the house. I left her on Thanksgiving, and she seemed to be doing better, with all things considered. Every year my family goes to either Santa Barbara or Lompoc on Christmas Eve, and then to Lompoc on Christmas day. After getting the call on Christmas Eve morning, I don’t think anyone went to celebrate. We still all met up for Christmas day though, as usual in Lompoc. Unfortunately it happens to be my grandmother’s house we go to, where Juju also lived. Talk about uncomfortable, my most favorite family member (extended) died in her room, the same room I always slept in with her, and then we had to go celebrate Christmas in the same place the day after her death. It wasn’t exactly a joyous holiday that’s for sure.
Well, it’s been a year and I’d say that time certainly does heal some wounds. At least a little bit, ha. When I heard she’d died I of course was upset, but not really for more than an hour or so. It took a few months for me to really realize that she was gone, and that I’d never be able to see her again. There were times I’d pick up the phone to call Juju to tell her something funny, and then sort of realize “oh.. right” and hang up. Kinda awkward hm. Her death also made an impact on my relationship with the bf. I didn’t catch on at first but about 6 months after she died I was sooooo unhappy. I didn’t know why and I didn’t know how to fix it, and as you can imagine my bf definitely noticed. We tried to fix it but I seriously didn’t know what was wrong. Eventually I made the connection and it took a little while for things to get better again. I’d never been depressed like that before, but I’d also never had someone so close to me die before. Things have never been better with the bf, although I still miss Juju incredibly~
I’m not religious at all, but at Juju’s funeral (which was at a church) there was a lot of bible and God-speak. (I will admit that when I wear my St. Christopher necklace it mostly holds sentimental value; Juju would sometimes wear one) Not my thing, but I do remember in the pamphlet for her funeral a quote that I really liked. I still do.
“God saw you getting tired a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around you and whispered, ‘come with me.’ With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away, and although we love you dearly we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest, God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best.”
I love you Juju, you were my biggest cheerleader and one of my best friends, and you still are~ <3 Miss ya~
:”Ohh how cuuuuuuuuute”
:^____^
